New Xanga site! Everyone subscribe to me! www.xanga.com/brown_eyed_wonder_87

This picture is absolutely beautiful. I jus found it on some randon website and thought I would post it. I feel like it portrays my every thought and my every feeling. Like that is me standing there. Jus the feeling I get from looking at it is incredible. I get so much out of this picture, it is absolutely amazing.

Quote of the...:

"December is a graveyard on this lost highway and everybody is a stranger here..." - Ana

Assuming I am the Amber Nick was talking about on his xanga post, apparently I have been tagged. So I have to copy and paste something here and tag like 5 more people or something? I hope thats what I gottah do because thats how im gonnah do it... :o)

 5 Things most people dont know about me.

1) I can not sleep at night unless I have my teddy bear... comfort issue I guess
2) I enjoy rolling silverware (for my co-workers at Schuler's and Centennial)
3) I write poetry
4) My all time favorite song ever written is Tie a Yellow Ribbon (round the old oak tree)
5) I don't have 5 things that people don't know about me because I am that open...

So in return I would like to tag Will (aka PBHWill1), Monica, Ana, Cortney, and John Hodge.

So on a different note... Christmas is almost here yet I feel like Cindy Lou from the Grinch... I'm seriously doubting christmas right now. I'm usually happy and cheerful and excited. I jus cant seem to be happy. Too many difficult things are happening to me... I  miss the feeling I used to get around Christmas...

I'm walking in a sea of darkness... I have never had so much trouble finding my way, and there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel. But then again, this long and winding tunnel has probably jus begun. There seems to be nowhere to go with my life and I'm finding that out quickly. College is ahead of me, but what classes am I taking? Will the classes I decide even help me out? How am I going to pay for it? Lately I have had very little time for myself... very little time to think. This is about the only time that I have had to get some thoughts out. This whole 2 job thing is wearing me down very thin. Working 7 days a week, usually 4-5 of those days at both jobs. I have no life... no time for friends or for the things I used to have time to do. I miss my friends and being able to see them. I miss hanging out with Monica and everyone Sunday nights... Seeing Ana every day... Being able to have a personal face to face conversation with Cortney... Being able to tell John what was on my mind... Learning new "karate" moves from Simon... Worrying about nothing because I was with the people who I care about more than anything I can think of.

I'm 18 years old and I have no life. I'm supposed to be having fun and living life to the fullest. Where has it all gone? All my energy is devoted to working and I dont have much to show for that. I miss Josh, and Devin, and Monica, and Ana, and Cortney, and Simon, and John Hodge, and Jase, and Ana's drum kit. It's sad that I don't even have time to eat anymore. I cant remember the last time I ate a meal at my house. I wake up go to work go home get ready for my other job leave come home sleep and do it all again the next day. I miss everything that my life used to be...

Everyone reading this, please keep Phil in  your thoughts and prayers while he is in Iraq. I miss him to death and I hope that he is safe and will return safely. Phil, I love you.